The problem with this post is that I don't fully know how to express all the things I am grateful for right now. I've been preparing to serve a mission for the last few weeks and I don't even know how to put my feelings into words.
I'm Excited.
I'm Scared.
I'm incredibly Grateful.
I'm happy.
I feel unworthy and unprepared.
THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT SATAN HAS BEEN WORKING ON ME, especially this last week. Is it hard? Yes. Am I weak? No.
Earlier in the week as I was searching for strength I wrote this poem, and it's helped me stay positive as satan has tried to diminish my worth.
Here it is:
Everywhere I turn
TEMPTATION STRIKES.
Not to sin in great ways,
Rather degrading my life.
Emphasizing my weaknesses, enlarging my worries;
Consuming my mind with False, Faith-shaking stories.
I look to my feet and see clumsy, worn soles.
I notice my hands, that can't fulfill their great role.
But when I look up above,
and I know who He is,
I see a piece of my worth in the reason He lived.
And despite what I'm feeling,
& the directions I'm pulled
I won't let this dark shadow
Make a change in my Goals.
I am stronger than darkness. I am stronger than pain.
I WON'T SUBMIT to my weaknesses, or let my mirror Scream Shame.
I'll simply look up above,
For I know who He is,
And I'll rely on his power
To share the Truth: That He Lives.
As I keep saying, I wish I could properly express how grateful my heart is. Sometimes I think my life is harder than it is, but I have the gospel and that adds a constant peace and security to any trial or bump in the road. I'm choosing to serve a mission because I want others to feel of this Joy and find Rest in the Savior.
I guess what this gratitude really comes down to- is the incredible blessing it is to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. :)
