Saturday, October 27, 2012

Piles of Blessings

The problem with this post is that I don't fully know how to express all the things I am grateful for right now. I've been preparing to serve a mission for the last  few weeks and I don't even know how to put my feelings into words.

I'm Excited.
          I'm Scared.
                     I'm incredibly Grateful.
                                                 I'm happy.
                                                        I feel unworthy and unprepared.

THERE IS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT SATAN HAS BEEN WORKING ON ME, especially this last week.  Is it hard? Yes.  Am I weak? No.

Earlier in the week as I was searching for strength I wrote this poem, and it's helped me stay positive as satan has tried to diminish my worth.

Here it is:

Everywhere I turn
           TEMPTATION STRIKES.
Not to sin in great ways,
          Rather degrading my life.
Emphasizing my weaknesses, enlarging my worries;
      Consuming my mind with False, Faith-shaking stories.

I look to my feet and see clumsy, worn soles.
I notice my hands, that can't fulfill their great role.
          But when I look up above,
                      and I know who He is,
I see a piece of my worth in the reason He lived.

And despite what I'm feeling,
       & the directions I'm pulled
I won't let this dark shadow
       Make a change in my Goals.
I am stronger than darkness. I am stronger than pain.
    I WON'T SUBMIT to my weaknesses, or let my mirror Scream Shame.

I'll simply look up above,
         For I know who He is,
And I'll rely on his power
                 To share the Truth: That He Lives. 

As I keep saying, I wish I could properly express how grateful my heart is.  Sometimes I think my life is harder than it is, but I have the gospel and that adds a constant peace and security to any trial or bump in the road.  I'm choosing to serve a mission because I want others to feel of this Joy and find Rest in the Savior.

I guess what this gratitude really comes down to- is the incredible blessing it is to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  :)