The World is my Valentine...

Some of you may be wondering,

 "What does a girl do the Valentine's Day before she leaves on her mission?" 

Well I was wondering the same thing this year, and I figured out the perfect solution.  During the week of Valentine's Day [I prefer it called Valentine's Week] I decided that every time I was wishing someone would do something for me, I would make some Valentines. If you knew how many Valentines I ended up making you would know that I spend way too much time wishing people would serve me. . .

Joke. 

But really, throughout the week I spread my love like.... Crisco on a cookie sheet. And I had the best Valentine's Day of my life. 

I figured out what some of my friends would have wanted a girlfriend to do for them if they'd had one, and I did it. I got the schedules of my friends and left presents for them to come home to.  I made some homemade chocolate treats to give away.  I made small valentines for some of my close friends. Now I don't say this to brag, for real, but because I was amazed at what an incredible day I had after turning my selfish thoughts outward. 

It had the potential to be a terrible Valentine's Day, but when I was hurting from life's ironic circumstances I SERVED, and was served in return. My friends were incredible to me and I got to spend time with and see people that mean so much to me.

Valentine's Week was good to me, because it wasn't about me.  It didn't matter that I felt things in my life were hard, because the week wasn't about me.  I know that when we focus our thoughts outward, Heavenly Father will send us immense tender mercies and show us that He really does know us personally.  

There are times that I feel so spent and I don't know how I can continue to give my love. Sometimes it feels that each time I let some love escape it comes with a cut to my heart. However, I have learned that there is such power in letting yourself be COMPLETELY VULNERABLE, and put out all the love you can muster up for others to take.  No matter what the reward is in return. 

I have found myself pleading with Heavenly Father at times in my life to please send me someone to love me,  because I feel that I am giving far more than I receive.  WHAT A SELFISH THOUGHT THAT IS. Christ came and suffered all pains, and gave all love for me.  It is things like that, that remind me why I continue to share all the love I know how to share.

I don't know that I've been doing great at preparing for my mission, but I sure am learning how to love, and share that love with everyone.